People that are repressed eggs often tell themselves that "its just a fetish" as if that would justify suffering as a male until you die. You may tell yourself that all your reasons are sexual, telling yourself its all manifistations of "autogynephilia" (anatomic, interpersonal, etc)
But if you think about your life you will realize that you are not like other guys and its likely you have struggled with a lot of things, its not your fault.
You might not be like a typical girl either, since birth your brain been subjected to a poison called testosterone and this is also affecting how you are as a person, it may affect your interests in addition to your personality.
Once you are an estrogen it will become more clear to you that you were a girl trapped in a disgusting male body, the earlier you correct your hormones the better.
First, let us make clear what is meant by autogynephila: A person being aroused at the thought of himself/herself as a woman or in embodying femininity.
R. Blanchard posited that all transsexuals that are not androphilic are autogynephilic. This has been thoroughly debunked, starting with his own data. Some transsexual fits into his “AGP” and “HSTS” categories, but it is not all of them. He handwaved that away by saying that counter-examples to his hypothesis are either liars or that their androphilia is “meta-attraction”. By using an unfalsifiable reasoning, he put his hypothesis within the realm of not science but pseudoscience.
There is an irrational aversion to autogynephila. We will show this is unfounded. First, people mentally picture a gross hon when thinking of “autogynephilia”. Autogynephilia is not limited to hons, but also occurs in passing MTFs and cis women. If people imagine, say, Somik when thinking of autogynephilia, they would not feel an irrational aversion towards it. Second, the idea that a person enjoying his or her own body sexually is wrong is absurd. Those that consider autogynephilia but masturbation in general to be “wrong” incur a contradiction.
Third, autogynephilia can be done right and wrong. The right way to do it is by appreciating the female aesthetics by themselves, and allowing oneself to enjoy them on oneself as much as on one’s partner. The wrong way is to see femininity as being only a sexual toy, something humiliating (the “sissy” mentality). Some people with autogynephilia do it wrong. Those are the most vocal. It does not mean that autogynephilia has to be that way. Recall, Hitler ate sugar, but eating sugar does not make you Hitler. Judge people with autogynephilia for their own virtues and vices.
A better term to use is "female embodiment eroticism" FEE since it's less associated with pseudoscience.
If you dont already have FEE you should try to induce it before transitioning so you will enjoy the transition process more. Sissy hypno is far from ideal but it may work
First of it's clearly not just a fetish, it's also the fact that you didn't make it as a male, if you had been successful in life (able to have a wife and children) the situation would be different. You can still try to live a good life as a female since you are likely to pass if you transition now, dont miss this opportunity.
Since medical transition is beneficial for you the rational think is to pursue it since it would improve your life.
You thinking its a fetish isn't a valid reason against transitioning, you should transition now and maybe think about what caused you to do it later. If you dont transition now your entire life will be misery and you will regret that decison until you die. Telling yourself "this is just a fetish" is a typical cope among repressors and this causes a lot of suffering, delaying HRT because you are in doubt is insanity.
Hi, I saw the reddit post trying to get more trans women into the religion. I'm a 22 year old male who has always wanted to transition just always been to scared. I agree with a lot of what this religion says and would be interesting in joining. What all do I need to do?
If someone benefit from taking HRT you are actually helping that individual by convincing him (soon her) to actually start, the negative consequences that can come with not starting HRT in time can be very severe and last until you die (possibly from suicide).
Of course people have different views on when HRT is beneficial, there are some people who start it but are not great candidates for it and thus end up having to detransition or they simply kill themselves. You also need to be very careful when it comes to surgeries, especially SRS.
Avoiding social difficulties when transitioning
The focus of transitioning should be on changing your secondary sexual characteristics (hormones, surgery, etc.). You should regard it as a body modification similar to “body building”. This is the only sensible approach if you value your social life, integrity, and self-respect.
If you believe that there is an “innate gender” which is unrelated to biology or society then you will inevitably create social problems for yourself. People might understand that one might want to be (or look like) a woman, but almost everyone takes “born in the wrong body” as a joke, especially if you were not previously flamboyant. You might think that you are a girl trapped in a male body but this will be scientifically incorrect prior to HRT 1011 you having a feminine personality doesn't make you a girl 1012
If you do not look and are socially regarded as a woman, claiming that you are a woman in the inside and that people should respect your innate gender regardless of how you look is meaningless and futile. This at best makes people pity you and at worst makes them mock and bully you. The situation worsens if you dress in women’s clothing but still look like a man. This should be avoided first and foremost out of self-respect, and second out of respect for fellow trannies. You will also hurt yourself for thinking that people do not treat you the way you should be treated.
You do not have to come out in any way to your family or other people who know your real identity. Whether or not you should transition isn't something you should discuss with people who have not properly researched these topics, most people including your family will be utterly ignorant and thus they will not be able to give you any real help. If announce that you plan or think about transitioning people around you may push or outright coerce you into not doing so even though it would be beneficial for you.
Thus the solution is to start medication without telling anyone about it that knows your real identity, later if/when they start noticing changes you can tell them that you are transitioning. If you currently live in a transphobic environment you may want to relocate before socially transitioning. You may want to just leave everything behind to start a new better life if/when you can pass fully as a girl, being stealth allows you to escape transphobia and be treated just like another girl.
There is no proper recent study on the actual rate which trans individuals actually die from suicide, instead the self-reported suicide attempt rate is looked at, a suicide attempt isn't always serious and people may over-report
What does gender dysphoria even mean? how do you even know if someone has gender dysphoria?
What we can know to a large extent is how well someone is going to to Hormone replacement therapy, how well the individual is going to pass as a girl and even approximately how attractive she will become.
Jazz jenings had a very small penis partly due to blocking the puberty and this ultimately lead to her SRS failing and she had to go through 2 more surgeries to get a result she claims is good (probably isn't).
Delaying HRT is insanity
As you age testosterone will make you more masculine and it will become increasingly difficult to ever pass, especially as MTF, thus if you already think "maybe i should transition" as a male just do it now before it's too late. You dont really have time to figure out your identity or what causes your dysphoria (if you experience any) or whether or not transition is for you.
It will be easier to tell whether or not you really should transition medically once you have already felt the effects of estrogen, if you stop it quickly there will not be any issues and you will lose hardly anything. if you refrain from transitioning when you should have done so the cost will be very high.
One criticism against letting minors or kids transition is that most will grow out of it as they go through puberty, this does not however mean they wouldn't have benefitted from early transition (MtF) sperm can be banked before a child has gone through the full puberty. When you have gone through the full puberty transition will be a lot more difficult and thus a large portion of individuals who would have benefited from medical transition before will no longer do so when puberty is fully over.
13 year old children born males are absolutely capable of making these decisions with the support of adults, their issue is mostly impulsivity and lack of knowledge, not lack of intelligence.
many who transition realize the trans path did not really change their dating chance. true cis women aren' t really into "trannys" on top. the 30% is a way too high amout you mentioned.
also, my question is, how come many who transition DO report that once they transitioned, they realized all their problems did not really go away as they hoped. and they feel like outsiders on the dating market still, unless they re into males. the sausage fest is real and alot of males go for anything that has 2 legs.
Also, my question is, how come many who transition DO report that once they transitioned, they realized all their problems did not really go away as they hoped. and they feel like outsiders on the dating market still, unless they re into males. the sausage fest is real and alot of males go for anything that has 2 legs.
Where does the unwillingness to transition come from?
I have noticed that often when you ask why people are unwilling to transition they just give some excuse for not doing so that doesn't hold, they dont want to do it but they it's unclear why.
no you dont need to have bottom surgery
If you have regular sex after SRS you will no longer need to dilate.
sperm can be banked to preserve fertility
a lot of males will die childless anyway.
you can have sex with other trans girls.
Gender & identity
I think that for a lot of people their gender is an important factor in their identity and thus it feels wrong to just give up on all that even if being male isn't working for you.
Maybe you like the masculine aspects of your body and dont want to lose any of that. You simply get attached to your own body similar to how you get attached to other things that are with you for a very long time.
Limitations with medical transition options
You might feel like you wouldn't be happy with you would get out of a medical transition, this will depend heavily on age. Ideally you should be younger than 25 before starting HRT, even better if you start at 13 to 17.
We can just hope that options will improve over time, maybe in the future trans girls will be able to become pregnant
If you live in a transphobic environment it may feel wrong to transition because of that, it can also be internalized transphobia.
These factors can however be partly or fully overcome by delaying social transition until you can pass.
It's a scary decision to make, especially if you dont have proper information to base your decision on. It's can be difficult to predict what your outcome will be, how will people around you react if/when they find out? will you be able to pass?
Considering how many things that can go wrong worry is justified, you cannot blindly trust doctors these days.
Then you end up having to go for cis female chasers, it's a smaller pool so requirement in terms of physical attractiveness will be higher.
I think some trans girls are upset about not being validating by cis lesbians (natal females who dont have sex with men) but it's better to get over the rather pointless validation thing and instead just find a partner you like.
You can also be your own girlfriend if your AGP is strong.
“When I was an egg the envy got so bad that I started hating women just on principle ‘Like why should they be pretty and cute and I am stuck in hell!’. It caused me to troll women online and act like an MGTOW/Incel/Nice Guy/POS.” Source / Archive
“If I hadn’t of come out and transitioned I would have likely become the exact epitome of the kind of person that I hate the most right now. I was a straight white neckbeardy 'Why aren’t there straight/white pride parades’ misogynist douchebag. If I hadn’t of come out I’d likely have been the type of guy to bitch about being an incel and *shudders*” Source / Archive
“I’m a literal Ex-Nazi Trans Female so I can relate.” Source / Archive
“Solidarity comrade. Trust me, I used to be a Nazi even as I was discovering I was trans” Source / Archive
“I’ve seen a lot of people go from fascist mra to trans girl on their journeys” Source / Archive
“I wonder what percentage of incels are iron-shelled eggs” Source / Archive
“I wasn’t a brony. Back then, I was closer to just your run-of-the-mill incel.” Source / Archive
“A huge amount of the reason I was an incel was because I was a closeted trans girl.” Archive
“Me in high school. Also was pretty much a nazi. Hated the world. Etc. Now I am a very cheerful and loving trans girl uwu” Source / Archive
“Seems like anyone who went to 4chan either grows up to be trans or a white supremacist and there’s zero middle ground.” Source / Archive
“i was a fash-adjascent man in my early 20s. 5 years later i’m an anarcho-communist enby.” Source / Archive
“Big mood. 4 years ago I was an edgy, right-wing, anti-SJW teen who was borderline MGTOW. Now I’m a gay catgirl dating an anarchist transgirl.” Source / Archive
“I’m really obsessed with incels. So many of them are actually repressed trans women it’s impressive.” Source / Archive
“Oh hey same. I used to run in neckbeard 4chan incel circles. Now my name is Rebecca and I’m a girl. When did that happen?” Source / Archive
“Oh shit, I just realized I went through a Neo-Nazi phase.” Source / Archive
“I was more an incel-ish transphobe than anything. Looking back at my past kinda disgusts me, but now I’m good with myself. Honestly makes me wonder how many incels are in trans denial.” Source / Archive
“Honestly I think that most incels are transgenders in denial. I never came across a group of men who are so jealous and envious of women. All they ever do is talk about how women are lucky and fortunate. Also most have body dysphoria and hate how they look. If that isn’t an egg about to crack then I don’t know what is.” Source / Archive
“the pipeline from nazi to commie trans girl is real” Source / Archive
“I honestly don’t know how I escaped my Nazi phase. Anyone with half of a brain would’ve thought I was past the point of no return, but clearly I wasn’t since I escaped.” Source / Archive
“As the old saying goes: 30% of TERFs are closeted trans men and 30% of incels are closeted trans women.” Source / Archive
“went from browing /pol/ for 2 years then /lgbt/ for a while before just deciding to transition. Shits possible man, but personally I think I was just browsing to help repress any sort of AGP related feelings. I told myself I shouldn’t transition because I had to pass on my white genes lol!” Source / Archive
“tfw i went from right wing incel to communist catgirl in the matter of just about a year” Archive
The reality is the exact opposite of that, you gain more from transitioning if you get sexual excitement of being female.
The blanchard typology you are referring to is pseudoscience and it doesn't offer much in terms of clinical implications
Three studies compared the outcomes of homosexual transsexuals with non-homosexual transsexuals. Each of these reported that the majority of persons of each type benefited from sex reassignment, although both Blanchard and Smith reported that the few cases of regret that did occur all came from the non-homosexual group.
Not only did transitioning save my life, it got me out of inceldom
I'm so so so thankful I was blessed with gender dysphoria. When i was living as a man, I was basically hopeless. I had horrible anxiety, I was ugly, I had only one relationship under my belt that lasted 3 months, and we never even had sex, we only kissed before she dumped me.
I started transitioning 8 months ago taking hormones and getting laser hair removal. Since then, I've had 5 sexual encounters with 3 different women. Know why? because i'm a cute girl and not an ugly "man". They were all women who were out of my league when i was living as male, but women these days are super into me.
In short, gender dysphoria saved me. It gave me a life-or-death need to transition, and I was pleasantly surprised to see that being a girl made me more desirable to women
I lost my virginity only after I transitioned. In my late 20's.
The media is a lie. Women don't like men. The only men they are willing to sleep with are Chad. If you're not Chad you're destined to die alone.
However, if you can transition and make yourself look like a decent looking woman, then suddenly bisexual women will be attracted to the novelty that is a woman with a dick. And if you genuinely do feel like a woman on the inside it greatly enhances the experience. They are attracted to finally having found a male partner who has similar interests and as much emotional depth as they do. Cis men are socialized to be unemotional rocks with all sorts of silly masculine rituals that can be a turnoff for many women. It's nice for women to be able to have a partner with a penis who isn't obsessed with sports and drinking beer.
No idea why the incels want to keep sitting around whining about being a gross dude instead of taking some steps to improve their life like we did.
About being "incel"
The word "incel" is very problematic since a lot of self identified incels have very toxic views that would get them a quick ban here if expressed. We are still willing to help individuals who hold these problematic beliefs, it is possible that many of them would change their personalities for the better after correcting their hormones (higher E, lower T).
Incel is/was short for "involuntary celibate" but it's not clear when it's "involuntary" and what counts as "celebacy", what if you hire an escort?
The rational way to deal with these problem is to simply look at your last year
How much sex do you want?
How much sex did you actually get?
How was the quality of the sex you got?
How much did the sex cost you? (direct and indirect expenses).
You dont need to be a kissless virgin to benefit from medical transition, how functional your sexlife is as a male is just one of the factors to consider.
Dysfunctional sex life can have other origins that simply being unable to attract a partner you like for sex, some people find out that they cannot properly enjoy the sex when they are male.
Transmaxxing success story
Someone wrote and deleted:
I'm sorry if this is a thing nobody can reasonably give advice on or comes across as bragging. But I'm at a loss and don't where else to ask.
So I (31MtF) have been in my first-ever relationship with A (27F) for a couple of weeks now. I used to identify as an incel until a week ago or so - which was always primarily about having my negative self-image affirmed through others treating me in a hostile/derisive way, I never shared the problematic ideological views (prior to Covid I was reasonably active in queer and intersectional feminist contexts).
Things are going very well - we've known each other since November, so there is a sense of mutual trust and established familiarity, and I'm deeply in love with her - but she wants to have sex and I'm at a bit of a loss (désir is also very important to her philosophically). Now, the good news is that A says she'll wait for however long it may take me, "20,000 years if need be" (we were standing in front of a silly advertisement for bottled water, "Untouched Since the Ice Age") - but knowing that I am leaving her wanting and waiting doesn't feel great either, no matter how nice and understanding she is about it. We've now had two or three occasions where she would have been happy for me to spend the night.
A knows that I have no prior sexual experience (except for masturbation), have issues with my body image (both related to being trans and because I'm overweight) and am unsure whether I might be somewhat asexual. Also my self-worth is quite bad in general. My current therapist is someone I don't feel comfortable discussing sexual issues with and my first appointment with a new one, who hopefully will be a better match, is scheduled for July.
Now, I guess the obvious piece of advice would be "Just let her take the lead, ask her what she enjoys, ..." Well, she knows me a little too well to do that: she knows that this is a very sensitive topic for me where I'm still unsure of my own boundaries and wants, she knows that I'm generally awful at enforcing boundaries (above-mentioned therapist steamrolled some of them) and she knows that I have a tendency to forget about my own needs when I'm trying to be there for someone else. So yeah, I tried begging A "Just show me what you like" but she only smiles and shakes her head.
When we are cuddling and making out the way she leads is very careful, sometimes she will step things up a tiny bit (and delights in my reaction, she loves to see me flushed) but then she lets go again and will frequently feel my body to see if I'm relaxed or growing tense, telling me over and over not to be scared of her. What she really wants to see is more than just reciprocation, she's always waiting for some initiative on my part that I feel extremely uncertain about. She'll encourage me when I seem to be doing something right - e.g. placing her hand on my chest ("smells of self-regard"), kissing her neck in way that I'm not quite sure how it differs from the hundred kisses I've given her before but I guess it must have felt a tiny bit more selfish to her ("that's the right idea") - but I just feel lost.
I wish it was like "... and then instinct takes over" but all instinct wants me to do is to cuddle and be close; like, I am aroused, flushed and intoxicated with her smell, but I still just want to feel her body against mine and enjoy the mental calm. Worst is when she simply closes her eyes and lies back, head slightly arched back to expose her neck, and expects me to escalate in some way - if I then just kiss her like before or cuddle up closer to her, she'll tell me I'm sweet but with a voice that for all love also betrays a hint of disappointment. If I can't see her eyes, if I'm not reciprocating to some impulse from her, I feel so lost.
You dont have to try to be like a cis female if you transition
Many people that transition will want to be like a a typical cis female, maybe you do not want to use makeup. Maybe you are more interested in sex-work rather than some typical 'female' profession and that's ok.
The reason why you take HRT is to change the physical aspects of your body. You presenting and passing as a female is for convenience (such as when you are shopping) you do not have to act like a 'typical' cis female (whatever that is).
Gender roles change with time, it's not something ingrained in stone.
That being said you can expect some degree of mental feminization from HRT but if you start late or have a natural 'male' personality that might not be enough to make you like a a typical cis female, there are many people AFAB who do not behave like typical female and they can still live good lives without changing their sex.
Some things like becoming pregnant and giving birth isn't even possible as a trans girl now so even if you would want that you still cannot do it.
I've got Tinder Gold and created a profile with photos of www.instagram.com/lex_aaa . Why her? I just googled "cute traps" and chose someone who'd look passable, but not amazing. Something that the average incel can achieve if he puts in decent efforts
Result: in one hour (using the boost that comes with the gold subscription), Alexa got 137 likes. 120+ thirsty dudes, the rest Chads and girls. (one 40~ year old messaged straight away offering money, this is good news if you are worried about funding your transition)
After that, I put the setting to find just girls. The men were overwhelming. And after 4 hours, these are some of the girls who have liked the profile (about 5 couples too):
So ok, no stunning dime pieces have liked us there, but Alexa is surely not sex-starved with more than 20 female matches in one day. (about 1/4 of them message first too!)
So yeah... if you're a heterossexual incel, here's my message: you could actually get laid with girls if you transitioned.
Is anyone here transitioning and have had good results with dating apps?
What do you think of the matches? I want to hear your feedback.
Youtube is full of successful transitioning cases (from incel to hot babe)
There are so many cases that I don't believe society still doesn't accep trans people as a positive to the world. Well even if it still does not, it will change in the near future. Check out those MtF transformations:
I realized a while back that in addition to being able to treat gender dysphoria and give people bodies they like better HRT could also be used to reliably escape involuntary celibacy in the case of people born male.
You dont have to date other males after transitioning (other transbians is an option) and you do not have to "cut your dick off" (not actually what SRS does).
Regarding suicide: the actual suicide mortality is probably higher among incels than transgender people.
Also there have been cases of AFAB individuals detransitioning despite the fact that transitioning cured their dysphoria because being incel and generally unwanted was worse than suffering from body dysphoria.
So if it works why not just encourage incels to transition so they can live better life?
There are two major reasons for that
most incels will not voluntary transition even if they would benefit from it in every way.
most incels are really unpleasant people so i cannot really justify actively going after them trying to help them.
Problem 1 can be resolved by given incels HRT via Community Treatment Orders, we should do a Randomized Controlled Trial on this to test if it would be beneficial for the individuals or society as a whole.
As for problem 2: other people can still try to help them if they feel like doing that and i am we are also willing to help anyone who comes to us for help.
Would i push incels to transition if it wasn't beneficial for them to do so?
I don't think that would be a good idea since then it might backfire at the general trans community, people would use that and claim "look how predatory transgender people are", detransitioners are already being used by transphobes to advocate for making it more difficult to transition medically.
The sad reality is that a significant portion of incels probably suffer from gender dysphoria but are unwilling to transition due to transphobic views, instead they hate on woman out of jealousy, especially sexually active females.
This subreddit was always indented to support anyone wishing to transition from male to female.
The difference is that i and other people here are willing to focus on social factors most people are unwilling to talk about or even acknowledge such as the fact that males are becoming increasingly obsolete and it would be even worse for males if it wasn't for the fact that monogamy is still mostly the norm.
Transition is still easier to justify when someone doesn't have a wife/girlfriend and cannot get one, in that case i don't really see any good reasons for repressing your desire to be female, you just living a bad life when you don't have to.
It's more complicated when someone is in a relationship and considers transition and i am not sure what i should advocate for in this cases. There are cases where the wife encouraged his 'husband' to transition due to severe dysphoria only to leave him/her later.
People may feel like their body is wrong even when changing their body would be detrimental if it wasn't for their body dysmorpia, the most clear example of that is BIID where the individual feel a very strong desire to get rid of a healthy limb.
While psychotherapy is the standard treatment in the case of anorexia i wasn't able to find any proper study showing it to be any better than placebo and psychotherapy in general is questionable at best
This is from 1983, i tried to find some newer study regarding it but all newer studies i found didn't give the control group placebo therapy. Thus there isn't any evidence that a random person you grabbed from the street would be any worse than a 'professional' therapist, actually talking to a random homeless guy would probably be better.
A terf wrote:
Every single other body dysmorphia we treat as a mental health issue, with kind, humane therapy. We do this for people with BIID or anorexia. There is no longitudinal evidence showing that surgical physical transitioning has positive effects on the well-being of people with gender dysphoria.
There was a small study done of people with BIID after they had their body part amputated. A lot of them were very happy about the amputation and didn't regret it. But they still unnecessarily mutilated their healthy body, and in my view it would have been much better to treat them with therapy, even though in the short term they themselves preferred the amputation over the therapy. Just because people want to harm their bodies, doesn't mean that's a good thing.
The thing is that with BIID changing your body to alleviate body dysmorphia does come with the cost of making you disabled with no other real advantage, this isn't the case with medical transition. Changing your sex does come with advantages allowing you to do things you couldn't do before
If you transition from male to female you will get real breasts capable of breastfeeding. If you undergo SRS you will probably get a neo-vagina that do allow for pleasurable sex.
If you dislike your body because you are legitimately fat you losing weight will be a good thing. Telling a loser incel with body dysphoria not to transition is like telling a obese individual to accept his/her own body instead of putting effort into changing it to the better.