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There was this chick who was pursuing this dude who was Chadlier than me, and she told me I was her #2 choice if things didn't work out between the two of them.
What ended up happening was, she said that things didn't work out between the two of them, but at the same time, she didn't tell me, "Okay, now that he's out of the picture, I'm ready to get with you." She simply left. So I assumed that when she'd told me I was her second choice, she had simply been lying, and actually I was was down the list somewhere, or not on the list at all.
Then months later, she showed back up and said, "Actually, that whole time, after I told you things didn't work out between him and me, I was still pursuing him, but didn't want you to know that. But now I've concluded that things really aren't going to work out between him and me, so I'm ready to get with you, because like I told you at the beginning, you were my second choice; and now with him gone, you've moved up to being #1."
So what if she'd told the truth, and said she was still pursuing him? Maybe I would've held out hope, rather than going into a depression. At any rate, the reason she lied was so that I wouldn't obstruct her from trying to get with him, till she'd exhausted her hopes with him. Then when she finally did lose hope in him, she revealed her lie, so that I would understand the reasons for her behavior.
But her behavior was kinda self-serving; her goal was to maximize her chances of getting her first choice, even if it meant I was gonna lose hope for awhile and go into a depression during that time that she was still pursuing him. She just didn't really care about that, because she was fixated on him, and probably figured that if she eventually went for me, I would be like, "Oh, okay, I'm just happy to finally be with you" and forget about what I had to go through during those months of her absence.
I think the way stuff works with these chicks is, they realize they're going to come off as a slut if people in the social circle become aware they're pursuing various guys, which will hurt their chances of getting with the guys they want; so they try to keep that on the down-low by telling lies to cover up the truth. Basically what they're trying to avoid is a situation where a guy is repulsed by them because they let some Chad in the social group fuck them, and then things didn't work out with Chad so they had to resort to getting with some other guy in the circle who was a second choice.
Or they worry, if people find out they're trying to get with Chad, that everyone is going to try to sabotage their relationship with Chad out of spite or whatever. Either way, they're basically trying to keep men divided by keeping them confused, misled, deceived, in the dark, etc. Part of the problem is, Chad isn't really required to marry any chick; if he were, that would eliminate the whole issue of what to do with chicks who get fucked and dumped by Chad. Chad is allowed to just go around and do whatever he wants, and others have to accept the leftovers, and people paper over these realities by keeping the truth of what's going on secret.
I'm not sure what difference it would've made if she'd told the truth; maybe I still would've gotten depressed, idk. For whatever reason, though, she felt compelled to make a point of revealing the lie to me afterward. I'm not sure why chicks are like that; they seem to have to have an urge to confess stuff sometimes (e.g. after they've cheated, as opposed to just not cheating to begin with). Maybe it's just to assert their power, by making it clear to both of you, you'll accept them no matter what they tell you they've done. But in that case, what's the need for all the subterfuge to begin with, unless like I say, it's because they worry the social circle will unite to try to keep them and Chad from getting together.
Not that Chad really cares what anyone thinks; he's not going to pass up an opportunity to bang a chick just because the social circle tries to pressure him not to.
What ended up happening was, she said that things didn't work out between the two of them, but at the same time, she didn't tell me, "Okay, now that he's out of the picture, I'm ready to get with you." She simply left. So I assumed that when she'd told me I was her second choice, she had simply been lying, and actually I was was down the list somewhere, or not on the list at all.
Then months later, she showed back up and said, "Actually, that whole time, after I told you things didn't work out between him and me, I was still pursuing him, but didn't want you to know that. But now I've concluded that things really aren't going to work out between him and me, so I'm ready to get with you, because like I told you at the beginning, you were my second choice; and now with him gone, you've moved up to being #1."
So what if she'd told the truth, and said she was still pursuing him? Maybe I would've held out hope, rather than going into a depression. At any rate, the reason she lied was so that I wouldn't obstruct her from trying to get with him, till she'd exhausted her hopes with him. Then when she finally did lose hope in him, she revealed her lie, so that I would understand the reasons for her behavior.
But her behavior was kinda self-serving; her goal was to maximize her chances of getting her first choice, even if it meant I was gonna lose hope for awhile and go into a depression during that time that she was still pursuing him. She just didn't really care about that, because she was fixated on him, and probably figured that if she eventually went for me, I would be like, "Oh, okay, I'm just happy to finally be with you" and forget about what I had to go through during those months of her absence.
I think the way stuff works with these chicks is, they realize they're going to come off as a slut if people in the social circle become aware they're pursuing various guys, which will hurt their chances of getting with the guys they want; so they try to keep that on the down-low by telling lies to cover up the truth. Basically what they're trying to avoid is a situation where a guy is repulsed by them because they let some Chad in the social group fuck them, and then things didn't work out with Chad so they had to resort to getting with some other guy in the circle who was a second choice.
Or they worry, if people find out they're trying to get with Chad, that everyone is going to try to sabotage their relationship with Chad out of spite or whatever. Either way, they're basically trying to keep men divided by keeping them confused, misled, deceived, in the dark, etc. Part of the problem is, Chad isn't really required to marry any chick; if he were, that would eliminate the whole issue of what to do with chicks who get fucked and dumped by Chad. Chad is allowed to just go around and do whatever he wants, and others have to accept the leftovers, and people paper over these realities by keeping the truth of what's going on secret.
I'm not sure what difference it would've made if she'd told the truth; maybe I still would've gotten depressed, idk. For whatever reason, though, she felt compelled to make a point of revealing the lie to me afterward. I'm not sure why chicks are like that; they seem to have to have an urge to confess stuff sometimes (e.g. after they've cheated, as opposed to just not cheating to begin with). Maybe it's just to assert their power, by making it clear to both of you, you'll accept them no matter what they tell you they've done. But in that case, what's the need for all the subterfuge to begin with, unless like I say, it's because they worry the social circle will unite to try to keep them and Chad from getting together.
Not that Chad really cares what anyone thinks; he's not going to pass up an opportunity to bang a chick just because the social circle tries to pressure him not to.