18, considering transition

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bordiga

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So, I just turned 18 and I've been more seriously considering transitioning, for a few reasons:
  1. I am 5'3 and not growing any more, 120 lbs with a little muscle but not a lot, obviously not the optimal male build. My dick is roughly 4.5". On top of this, i only leak a small amount of clear fluid (basically precum) when I orgasm (apparantly this happens to people on hrt but I've never been able to cum normally). I don't know whether or not this makes me infertile, but I am probably incapable of having normal male orgasms and sex.
  2. I get anxious talking to girls and they show no interest in me, I've never had a girlfriend or even been on a date with a girl. I'm also a virgin and have never kissed a girl. I asked a few out and got rejected when I was younger but since lockdown I haven't tried. I want to be able to have a fulfilling romantic and sex life and it really feels impossible to do get this as I am right now
  3. I am definitely attracted to women and starting to think I might be attracted to men as well. I am kind of desperate for sexual and romantic contact to the point where I would be willing to date men even though I'm not really sure whether or not I am actually into guys. I don't like the idea of being in a gay relationship, though.
  4. I compulsively crossdressed as a young kid and started again like 4 months ago. I guess this kinda awakened something in me and i started researching trans stuff, hormones, etc. I don't have dysphoria and I never considered transition before a few months ago
  5. I am increasingly depressed because of the stuff i mentioned and other things, I recently became addicted to nicotine and I feel myself slipping into lazy and NEET behavior. My sister committed suicide recently and a close friend did as well, I have had suicidal thoughts and would like to avoid killing myself. I don't like living like this. It seems like some people see transitioning as a solution and I feel like I am probably a good candidate and the I have the will to do it at least right now
How does one start doing this? Hormones first and then social transition or vice verse? Is there stuff I can do to prepare for when I can transition? should I even transition? I live with my parents for the next year or so and then moving out to go to college. They would not support me and I can't openly transition while I'm living here, so anything I do would have to be hideable.
 
Admin

Admin

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Sorry for not replying earlier. I approved your account so you will be able to freely post.
Hormones first and then social transition
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Yes that is typically the best approach to follow. It will make the social transition (the difficult part) much easier.
I compulsively crossdressed as a young kid and started again like 4 months ago. I guess this kinda awakened something in me and i started researching trans stuff, hormones, etc. I don't have dysphoria and I never considered transition before a few months ago
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This indicates that your wish to transition is not just about wanting to find a partner, you actually enjoy aspects of being a girl (such as female clothing) which isn't surprising considering you are interested in transitioning (people just wanting to get laid are very rarely interested in HRT).

I did take a look at your picture on reddit and i do think you will be able to become a beautiful woman.
 
Admin

Admin

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Cypropunk said:
Even if you don't pass as a female. I've discovered that people tend to treat you better just by being less masculine.
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I do find that very interesting.

I think it's that if you are masculine people will view you are a treat (males can be very dangerous), females might still find masculine males more sexually attractive though.

Personally i do not really need to interact much with strangers IRL in the first place. Mostly when i need something it's from a business who want to sell me stuff (regardless how i look, etc). I don't need strangers to hold up doors for me.
 
bussyDESTROYER

bussyDESTROYER

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bordiga said:
So, I just turned 18 and I've been more seriously considering transitioning, for a few reasons:
  1. I am 5'3 and not growing any more, 120 lbs with a little muscle but not a lot, obviously not the optimal male build. My dick is roughly 4.5". On top of this, i only leak a small amount of clear fluid (basically precum) when I orgasm (apparantly this happens to people on hrt but I've never been able to cum normally). I don't know whether or not this makes me infertile, but I am probably incapable of having normal male orgasms and sex.
Click to expand...
HNNNG share pics :love:
 
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