Why do men have to be the ones to make the first move, and express interest in a chick, and/or propose a date, or marriage, or whatever

Leucosticte

Well-known member
Messages
916
#1
Back in the Weebs.fun days, this one chick was getting hit on by this other dude, but it didn't end up working out, and then I told her I was interested in her, and she said that she wished that I had told her that from the beginning, because she hadn't known I was interested in her, and therefore she wasted a lot of time on that other dude.

In retrospect, though, I have to think, "Well, chicks get offended if you hit on them when they're not interested, so why does it have to be the man who takes that risk; why shouldn't chicks just hit on the men they like, while men otherwise remain coy and just send subtle hints if anything? Why not just reverse the roles, and that way, no chick has to worry about seeming too forward if she makes the first move, nor does she have to feel like she needs to just keep quiet even if she's interested in a guy, and nor do guys need to worry about seeming too aggressive or obnoxious if they happen to tell a chick they're interested in her?"

It's the same way with dating, or marriage -- chicks will be like, "I'm the woman, tee-hee! Therefore, I need the man who's interested in me to be the one to ask me out on a date, or propose marriage, or whatever."

Yet, suppose she isn't interested, and you ask her out on a date. She probably won't turn you down directly; she'll just blow you off in an indirect way by making up some excuse, and then you either persist or you take the hint and give up. But she'll probably tell people, "He asked me out on a date, blah blah blah" and talk about how awkward it was. Same deal if you just cut to the chase and try to get some pussy without dating her; if she doesn't like you, she's gonna be like, "He was hitting on me, blah blah blah."

As for proposing marriage, chicks don't want you to actually plan the proposal with them; they want you to be the one to come up with the time and place, and execute your plan. A lot of times they fantasize about some kind of surprise proposal. Yet, if you actually try this and she isn't interested, she's gonna be upset that you embarrassed her, or created an awkward situation.

Even if you take her aside and propose in private, if she's not interested, she'll still tell people about it, and make it sound like it was bad that you proposed to her. https://vintologi.com/threads/chicks-are-creeped-out-by-marriage-proposals.367/

Why does the man have to be the one who takes on all the risk of rejection? But, if it's our role to be subjected to that possibility, why does society have to tell us that we're wrong just for trying to get our male needs met, and failing? Why are we bad people just for making an offer that gets refused?

I guess it's kinda like telemarketers or salesman; there's nothing illegal about it, and someone can just put a "no soliciting" sign on their door or put themselves on the do no t call list if they really hate getting these pitches. Yet, it's considered kinda unsavory to hit up random people at their doorstep, or cold call them, I guess because generally their product is a bad deal. Yet, they make a lot of money and it's a big industry, so there's a lot of incentive to get one of those sales jobs, if you're good at selling stuff.

Look at life insurance; I hear it's kind of a ripoff because these life insurance companies look for excuses not to pay out if someone dies, which doesn't surprise me. The life insurance industry basically wouldn't exist if there weren't salespeople aggressively going out and trying to sell policies, because people rarely will just say on their own initiative, "I should get life insurance" the way they will with, say, homeowners insurance or health insurance or comprehensive car insurance; usually a salesperson has to suggest it.

Well, same deal with these pickup artists. The way the mate market is set up, you actually have an incentive to hit on random girls you don't know rather than girls in your social circle, because if you hit on the latter, and fail, they're going to tell the whole social circle, "He tried to hit on me," or "He asked me out on a date and it was really awkward," etc., etc. But if you hit on a strange girl in a bar and she says no, your friends will never find out because she doesn't know your friends. She won't trash your reputation like a girl in your social circle would.

But, white men are taught, "You shouldn't hit on random strange girls you meet in the street; you should get to know a girl as a friend and then blah blah blah." That's viewed as the more gentlemanly way or something; the more appropriate and civilized way. That way, you know that the girl actually likes you as a person before you suggest a relationship, because a good friendship with a girl is supposedly the best foundation for a romantic relationship.
 
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Leucosticte

Well-known member
Messages
916
#2
In prison, a gay dude once took me aside and asked, "Do you suck dick?" I said no, and he said, "Do you want your dick sucked?" I said no, and that was that. No need for drama.

Why do chicks have to basically act like a dude who propositions them, or asks them on a date, or proposes marriage, has assaulted them or offended them?

The only way guys are going to get laid, so that they can get their human needs met and the human race can continue, is that they have to make some attempts. A certain % of those attempts will result in rejection. Knowing that, what's the big deal; why is it treated as something unexpected and wrong?

If chicks don't want to be hit on, they should just do the equivalent of a person who doesn't want to be bothered by salespeople, and wear some button that says, "Don't hit on me," aka "No soliciting." Some chicks wear a ring for that exact reason; it signals their unavailability.
 
Messages
40
#3
Men don’t do the first move, females do and it’s not even subtle. Have you never noticed how they fawn over attractive tall males? That’s the first move. PUA used to call that IOIs and gave you the impression that it’s your moves that cause this reaction in her. It’s not. It’s only your looks and height. An IOI is a green signal to have hot steamy sex btw, no other moves are required.
 
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